oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
they're like a gay fantastic four
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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