Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
did i walk over a car last night?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
