I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
