so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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