he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
