The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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