theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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