did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
