Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
She announced her abortion via fbk
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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