You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
