I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Dignity is for republicans.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
