Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
tell me about the fingering
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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