The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
