i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
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