Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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