you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Randomize
