there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Terrible idea I love it
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
