just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
