awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
