then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
