Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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