Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Randomize
