he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
