I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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