Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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