It's like God shit irony all over that family
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
