I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
