HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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