didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I did not marry a roomba.
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