I think I am morally bankrupt
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
