Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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