Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
