if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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