she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
