so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
tonight lets celebrate not being married
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
