if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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