I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
