You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
