dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
