What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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