We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
