Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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