Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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