My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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