jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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