im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
