You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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