How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I FOUND THE LEGS
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
