I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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