Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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