Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
