yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
