I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
